Jun 19, 2009

Monday at CHOC/ our very LONG day (from 6/15/09)



Monday we went in at 10:00 am to get Josiah's labs done. I KNEW he'd need a transfusion. About a month or two before this whole thing happened we started getting really concerned. Josiah began to display behavior that we were actually praying over and seeking help for that we thought was mental illness. He would get really unreasonable and freak out and have huge meltdowns that were so different than that of anything our other children had ever done. Looking back now I think it's just that his body was so ill he would go into overload not knowing how to deal with feeling sick. I think of what his poor little body must have felt.. did he feel dizzy light headed? Did he have heart palpitations? He didn't know how to verbalize the icky way he felt. At the time we struggled with whether or not it was a discipline issue or mental illness. Now we know it was neither. Now we know the signs.

We knew he was going to need a transfusion as he started the meltdowns and irrational behavior again, got more bruising and started sleeping alot more than normal. I was annoyed because his white count was only 25,000 on Friday and they didn't call us in for platelets so we were concerned all weekend about how he would do. We left the hospital around 11:30 am. We received a phone call around 12:30 saying he needed to come in, this time for blood AND platelets as both were low. His platelets were 19,000. They should be much higher.

I was disappointed. I had hoped he was getting better. He isn't. That was hard to hear. I kept hoping this whole thing would be wrapped up before I delivered. The thought of going back to the hospital weekly with a toddler and newborn makes me so weary. The Doctor that we spoke with pointed out that some of the things we've noticed are due to him being ill. Josiah has a very tan little body but his face is really pale. That is caused by anemia. He also has developed a heart murmur that comes from not enough hemoglobin that carries oxygen to his body.

I took him back at 3. It put the numbing cream on him earlier but his arm was bruised from the earlier drawing so they had to put the IV in an unmedicated area. He was very sad about it, but they had a sweet child specialist come in and blew bubbles while he got the line put in. CHOC is so wonderful in that way. I felt so grateful that Josiah does so well. Especially when a little boy the same age as him came in and screamed for 30 minutes while they put his line in, took his temps etc. poor little guy. He had a brain tumor removed. :-( I'd scream too. God is so merciful. I'm not sure if my other children would fair so well. The nurses spoke about how fearless and brave he was. I am thankful we named him Josiah Valor. He lives up to his name. I became very overwhelmed. We were there for what seemed like forever. I started picturing in my mind and endless cycle of doing this week after week. I started feeling contractions and wanting to go home.

I was REALLLY hoping this baby would NOT come anytime soon. Not now anyway, maybe next week or better yet, the week after. Putting on the happy face for my little man. It's so easy to smile when I look at him. We left around 7:30pm. I called ahead and asked Huatzin to make dinner because I knew we'd get home late. I got home and he made grilled cheese sandwiches for the 3rd day in a row. My countenance fell.
:-) Called up my friend Tina and asked to go to dinner with me at an Indian Restaurant. We head out for some really yummy Indian food. ( no one else in my family eats it) All is well with the world. :-)
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Sometimes God sends the brilliant light of a rainbow to remind us of His presence, lest we forget in our personal darkness His great and gracious promises to never leave us alone. -- Verdell Davis

What is it to serve God and to do His will? Nothing else than to show mercy to our neighbor. For it is our neighbor who needs our service; God in heaven needs it not. Martin Luther

God does not lead His children around hardship, but leads them straight through hardship. But He leads! And amidst the hardship, He is nearer to them than ever before.-- Otto Dibelius

Faith is not only a commitment to the promises of Christ; faith is also a commitment to the demands of Christ.-- William Barclay

We must alter our lives in order to alter our hearts, for it is impossible to live one way and pray another. -- William Law

Salvation is free, ... but discipleship will cost you your life.-- Dietrich Bonhoeffer

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