Prayers from the broken hearted

Yesterday I was really suffering from "the orphan mentality" and washing the dishes preparing to leave. I told the Lord that sometimes it still really grieves me that I don't have family, that my children lack grandparents that care and are involved. I shared how I'm saddened that the family I do have finds me useless unless I'm useful to them, namely helping them financially which I can't / won't do as it would only enable substance abuse. I told Him how it hurt my heart when my son was sick no blood relative came to pray, support or help in any way. I remember thinking if he passed away they wouldn't have known unless they ran into us on the street and realized we were minus a child. It's painful that while we've been contacted for money or to be used as storage, or transportation my baby turns 1 soon, and they have never asked to see her, her name, gender, age or know the joy she brings to our family. I told Him also how it hurts constantly wondering if they are off the streets, safe, overdosed or seriously hurt, how I'm weary of praying for the breaking of strongholds of sin, addiction and dysfunction only to hear of them sinking further and deeper into chaos and depravity. I dried my hands off, grabbed my purse and walked outside to where my husband and children were waiting in the van when I saw them speaking to the very person who raised me (during the times I wasn't in fostercare or living with friends) that I was just praying about! They are doing worse than ever and the saddest was hearing how the children are doing. I will be making some calls today. I did get to pray with them that Our Heavenly Father would restore the years the locusts have eaten and make something good to come from this situation. Still I'm grieved. Still I pray. While they live there is always hope. Praying those I care about would choose life both the physical and eternal. 2 Peter 3:9 "The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance."

" Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me." Psalm 27:10 "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." Proverbs 13:12 "But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation." Psalm 13:5 "And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." 1 Corinthians 13:13

A Spirit of Fear

Can I share something really personal here? Normally I'm confident. I beam with joy of being a success story of a life radically changed by God. My spirit is filled with the vision God gave me and I revel in His goodness and His purposes for my family. ;-) Lately however, I've noticed I've become a little less bold, more timid, depressed even. I'd been having moments where I think about the HUGE responsibility of raising all these precious little ones to walk in righteousness and truth and to be godly nation shaking world changers, and the task seems daunting. I wonder what the heck God was THINKING when He gave these children to ME (of all people) to raise. Sometimes, I remember what I come from and I feel the anxiety spread through me. My parents were drug addict criminals. My husband and I are the only normal stable married couple in our family. All of my life I've had to seek out mentors, not family members if I wanted to learn the healthy way of relating to others or handling life's challenges. I am a 2nd generation foster kid, I come from a LONG line of lawless, depraved, godless individuals who often shirk the responsibility of raising their own children. Occasionally I get sort of panicky and plagued by fears wondering if maybe, just maybe I'm toiling in vain. Can anything good come out of our family tree, I wonder? Sometimes I see family members homeless on the streets from bad decisions and I am flooded with grief, fear, discouragement and shame. I have family members who would love to see me and my children fail because that would somehow affirm to them, that I shouldn't have bothered to forge a new path to begin with. I remind them that "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord" so we raise our children differently. I have to actively quote God's word that says "God has not given me a "spirit" of fear but of LOVE, POWER and a sound mind.(2 Timothy 1:7) I reason that if He could ransom, rescue and redeem ME (raised by addicts and foster care and those in bondage to sin) than He can do quite well with my children who are well loved and come from a good home. I'm reminded not to give even the tiniest of footholds to the enemy who would love to see my hard work undone and for me to view myself lower than dirt, paralyzed by fear. I begin to feel worthless and embarrassed of my upbringing. Then the Lord tells me "BEHOLD I am doing a NEW thing! Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert."( Isaiah 43:19) He reminds me that "we are more than conquerors through him that loved us."(Romans 8:37)The NLT states it as "No, despite ALL these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us." Isn't that encouraging. Maybe you don't come from as extreme of an upbringing as I do, but no matter what your situation, there is never a reason to trudge along life's journey, with a defeated spirit. Victory is ours through Christ. His Word exhorts me to "Abide in Him and I will bear much fruit."(John 15:1:8) Also to "Take every thought captive" ( 2 Cor 10:5" ) so that He can "quench ALL the fiery darts of the wicked." ( Ephesians 6:16) In my deepest pits of discouragement He declares that "He has REDEEMED me, He has called me by name and I am HIS." (Isaiah 43:1) When I feel hopeless, inadequate and like a failure, and that is often as of late, He REJOICES over me with singing! (Zeph 3:17) He whispers to me that Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee to myself. (Jer 31:3) I am blessed and encouraged that whatever the future holds, I and my children are secure in His love, care and protection. Amen

Ethiopia Trip 2011/Fundraising, prepping and vaccines

The anniversary of my first mission trip is almost here. Because I saved many posts in drafts and never got around to sharing, this whole week will be used to share every day that I was in Ethiopia on the same coinciding date. Brittany and I spent days and months fundraising, praying, seeking the Lord. At times, I wondered if this was truly God's will. At those times He'd give confirmations along the way, a note of encouragement, a verse or a donation. I couldn't believe everything was falling into place. What amazed me the most is those that provided to get me there. Surprisingly, it seems those with the least amount of money gave the most to help me help orphans, my dream. I couldn't believe the Lord was finally granting the desires of this mamas heart. I always thought I'd have to wait until old age to reach this life goal. That He would give me favor and answer so obviously was surprising for me! It was truly miraculous. There were times I worried, wondered and agonized over if all the money would come in. I'd pray pray pray and at the deadline of each necessary step the funding would come in at the last moment. Here we are on 7/12/11. At 6:14 pm we received confirmation that ALL the funding came in and I was set to LEAVE! JOY from Set apart for Him paid the balance off. You have no IDEA how big the Happy Dance was that we did! We jumped we hollered, we PRAISED the Lord!

Most people were really supportive. A very few people commented negatively. The bible is pretty clear on the responsibility of a Christian. James 1:27 "Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, [and] to keep himself unspotted from the world." It doesn't say wait until your children are older and out of the house. It doesn't say once you are retired or empty nesters. It says PURE RELIGION INVOLVES ORPHAN CARE! If you claim to be Christian, than you need to be helping the orphan and the poor. My leaving for 10 days wasn't me abandoning my children or forsaking my responsibilities at home. I have homeschooled my children since 3,these children have had no other caregiver their entire lives. I've only ever left them at the birth of a sibling. I've been a homemaker for over a decade now. The thing that irks me, those that commented do nothing, and I do mean nothing for orphans or the poor. Nor did donate even a pair of underwear, socks, coloring book or so much as a toothbrush, malaria net, or formula for children who have NOTHING. Funny how you can have encouragement of many, and it only takes a few negative comments to cause doubt. They did occasionally grip my heart with fear and doubt from the evil one. At one time I felt unworthy of His blessing. I worried if the plane would crash or a terrorist attack. At one point I wanted to leave a post saying if the Lord took me and you donated please don't feel bad, it's just the Lord's will. I also wanted to complete a small book of everything I've ever wanted to share with my children written down "in case." Finally the Lord told me to take every thought captive and that His plans for me were good. I resolved to not deal with fear mongers and nay sayers or give them anymore brainspace. Thankfully when I felt unsure or worried my husband would pray for me encourage me, tell me how blessed it would be and how excited he and the children were for me. My husband is amazing. If he would have showed even the slightest doubt I would have been to fearful to go. Instead he spurred me on. Love him. So many milestones were FANTASTIC, like getting my 1st passport. Here I am getting a couple vaccines. Here the kids are filming me get my vaccines!

Then off we went to celebrate the boys birthday a day early.

Party w/ a Purpose!

This day last year... my sweet friend Brenda helped us plan our Party with a Purpose. It was nice. We let people drop in anytime during the 4 hour gathering so people were stopping by throughout the day. Here we collected donations, did a short spiel on Ethiopia, fundraised a bit and made cards for the orphan kiddos. The kids had so much fun! I am bummed I didn't take more photos. Thank you to all who came out to lend support. We made Ethiopian foods so the children could experience the culture a bit and colored pictures. They got to see the Ethiopian alphabet. My favorite was when one of the kids wrote "Dear Orphans"... then thought about it for a moment and began again and wrote "Dear Friends" instead. Well played Josh! ;-) Later you will see photos of us giving these out to kids in Ethiopia! It was wonderful and we were blessed to share about Ethiopia, a beautiful, ancient fascinating culture and country.

Here we made ( or at least tried to make) Injera, ( the tortilla like bread) iab, the yummy yogurty type dish and dorowat. ( chicken in red pepper paste) Afterward we sorted the donations, started clean up and the kids had a question for us here... How could we say no? :-)

Share Christmas with one person

"Lord Christ, You have no body on earth but ours, No hands but ours, No feet but ours. Ours are the eyes through which your compassion must look out on the world. Ours are the feet by which you may still go about doing good. Ours are the hands with which You bless people now. Bless our minds and bodies. That we may be a blessing to others." St. Theresa of Avila

Today on Christmas, someone will wake up hungry, cold and hopeless. A widow will mourn the loss of her spouse, a parent the loss of a child, an orphan will wake up without family. It will be especially lonely today of all days. Somewhere in both the United States and in far away places like Africa, Ukraine, India, S. America and all over the world a child will wake up without anything under the tree and nothing in the house to eat. An international student spends another holiday alone in their dorm as all their classmates are home for Christmas. A refugee family wishes someone would talk to them. An elderly woman sits forgotten in a nursing home, a parents heart is rent in two not being able to provide for their child, a foster youth feels completely and utterly alone. A family is sleeping in their car, A child just died from lack of clean water, hunger or a preventable diseases. In the busyness of family celebrations, church services and holiday activities please stop for one moment and ask the Lord a question. "Who would you have me to love today?" "Whose life would you like to touch in a tangible way through me?" "How can I be your hands and feet in this moment?" I know Lord that faith without works is dead (James 2:14-26) so how can I use the resources, talents and time today in this moment to bless those who are broken and hurting?"

While celebrating with your family consider those without family. This could be the orphan who may have never known even a stitch kindness, love and a mothers touch. It could be a foster youth that has aged out of the system and like I often did, will spend Christmas and New Years alone feeling unloved, unwanted and purposeless. Invite them over. Thank you Brenda and Virgie for always having us over for the holidays. Thank you for being Jesus with skin on.

Google adoption photo listings and you'll see something truly heartbreaking. Foster youth that are 19, 20 and 21 years old still longing for a family, a place to belong on the holidays. Have you seen this?
I read about a 21 year old medical student that earned numerous awards for academic excellence. He was interning at a hospital, earned many scholarships, lived on his own but still strongly desired a family, enough to put himself on a national photolisting along with 132,000 other adoptable US foster youth. I used to pray someone would adopt him. He Isn't there anymore. I wonder, did he finally find a family or just get too old to be listed? Can you visit the senior citizen in the convalescent home that hasn't seen a visitor for quiet some time.

Have you ever encouraged a prisoner who is persecuted for his or her faith. Send a letter to officials on their behalf, Mail them a christmas card, a scripture, a note. Heb 13:3 Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them,
It could be that you invite international student to your home for dinners, activities etc like International Student INC. They come to America to learn about our culture but rarely leave their dorms to learn what life is like, unfortunately during the holiday many students go home leaving these students lonely and isolated. Meet new people from different cultures. What about the family/friend/coworker that moved here and has no family in which to share the usual traditions. Are they lonely away from their parents and siblings? Know any latchkey kids? What about the military family who moves from place to place. Or the military wife whose spouse is deployed?

As you are shopping and opening gifts think of the single mother who could barely put a roof over her child's head let alone purchase a gift or two for her child. Single fathers have it even worse. Sponsor a child, drop off a toy for an Angel Tree kid ( whose parent/s are in prison) Help foster child. Get a few friends a visit a group home. Go tell a kid to have hope, things will be better, that they have a purpose and were destined to do great things! That they have a FATHER who loves them and is the perfect parent when their earthly parents fall short. Tell them that "though their father and mother forsake them the Lord will take them up. " http://bible.cc/psalms/27-10.htm I'll never forget the postal workers who came by and dropped off gifts for us kids at the group home when I was a teen. I'll never forget the christmas as a 4 year child when my mother was arrested. The officers asked what I received for Christmas. One in particular appeared especially upset and disturbed when he found out I didn't receive anything at all. He went out and later presented me with a cabbage patch doll. I was terrified clinging to my mother who was at the time handcuffed. I don't know if he used his own money but it was a very compassionate gesture. No kindness is ever wasted.

You can give a micro loan through Opportunity, Hope International, World Vision, Five Talents. give medicine, animals, farming tools, school tuition a school uniform to a person who may not otherwise get help. Friends of mine recently got together and bought a gifts for a homeless child that I adore. Some even included gas and gift cards with words of encouragement for the mother. One mentioned that it was no big deal to her. They have passes at Disneyland and often spend that much on snacks and fast food alone. Can you forgo some small convenience to bless someones life, help an orphan find a home, alleviate a burden, meet a need? Touch a heart.

When decluttering to make way for your new items coming in your home consider the refugee who comes here with nothing. Even used items you may throw away would be a blessing to them. Many of us hoard all our many items when there are people in our own neighborhoods with nothing sleeping on the floor and without sheets silerware etc yes, here in the good ole USA. One friend provided childcare to help a refugee who was expected to find work but couldn't afford a sitter. Often they don't speak English and don't know how to even begin making a life for themselves. Many mothers feel isolated due to the language/culture barrier. They've experienced terrible persecution and personal tragedy. Love, a smile transcends language barriers.

Take a meal, mail a card, buy a toy, invite someone over. Buy a bible ( Bible League) for those who can't afford one in their language. Mail a package to a missionary, donate to a fundraising adoptive family. Pay a bill for someone in need. Offer your trade (car repair, plumbing, accounting, etc) Call a friend who might encouragement, bless a family going through a hard time. Go say "Hi" to new neighbors. Mother Teresa once said "I want you to be concerned about your next door neighbor. Do you know your next door neighbor?"

There is so much that can be done to give hope and encouragement in the coming days and year. We can do so many little acts of compassion that will spread ripples reaching into eternity. Thanks be to Jesus, for giving the perfect gift, Himself. May we give of ourselves, "Spend ourselves ( Isaiah 58:10 ) on behalf of those in need. May we be known by our love, the irresistible, compassionate, radical, self denying love of Christ that compels us to advocate for the greater good of others. That is the gospel. That is the Jesus, the Word made flesh. Merry Christmas! Peace and Joy in Jesus Alida & Rodriguez family.

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"Let us remember that the Christmas heart is a giving heart, a wide open heart that thinks of others first. The birth of the
baby Jesus stands as the most significant event in all history, because it has meant the pouring into a sick world of the
healing medicine of love which has transformed all manner of hearts for almost two thousand years... Underneath all the
bulging bundles is this beating Christmas heart." -- George Matthew Adams

"Rejoice, that the immortal God is born, so that mortal man may live in eternity." [John Huss]

"When we ask our children 'What do you want for Christmas?', we are asking a question that breeds selfishness. In order to develop selflessness we should be asking 'What are you going to give?' Christmas is the celebration of God's great gift giving -
'For God so loved the world that he gave...'(John 3:16)" [Robert Flatt]

"It is the Christian belief that much of what is wrong with the world today is moral and spiritual. In other words, the spirit of Christmas is absent." [Handel H. Brown]

"Best of all, Christmas means a spirit of love, a time when the love of God and the love of our fellow men should prevail over all hatred and bitterness, a time when our thoughts and deeds and the spirit of our lives manifest the presence of God. "
[George F. McDougall]

There is always time enough in a day to do God's will. -- Walt Witman

Blessed is The season which Engages the whole world in a Conspiracy of love.-Hamilton Wright Mabie. Links- Stand4Kids http://www.standupforkids.org/ Pray for Foster youth- Adoption.com , AdoptUsKids & Heart Galleries of America International Students, Inc Refugees- World Relief.org Angel Tree Safe Families

True Friends...

I just returned from a most life changing trip. Many amazing people prayed and donated to help me get to this place of walking in what I was created to do. The place of following God's call of faithfulness, of walking on water and of battling the demons of discouragement from my past. Many have loved me with a Christlike love that blessed and enabled me to do the things Jesus Himself did.

I wanted to preface by saying that I am a loyal friend. My family is the one you see at every birthday party. We have helped countless friends move, we give whatever we have either it be childcare, knowledge, resources or experience. I learn so much from so many amazing wonderful mentors and each thing I learn or anything that can bless I pass on to anyone interested. I was also allowed to see those that I have stayed up late at night more times than I can count praying over friends in crisis, giving them resources, bible verses etc. The Lord showed me that some of these friends must have some issue with me. Some of these that I have poured my heart and life into in the past, tend to be the most critical of me. They seem to always try to snuff out my aspirations of doing mighty works of service for Christ but at the same time copy a great many things from me. I can't be all that bad. :-) It's been said that that imitation is the highest form of flattery. That is true enough. It occurs to me however, that some of those I prayed for the most never called me the entire time my little son was ill in and out of the hospital with a life threatening blood disorder. They and are so negative about the wonderful opportunities taking place within our family, it's so unsettling. Some either make belittling comments or totally ignore my heart for ministering compassion to those in need despite my being enthusiastically supportive of their endeavors. One thing I have noted is that those that are the most critical seem to do the least. Those that made comments donated not even a pair of underwear, not a pair of shoes, not a stick of toothpaste or even a bottle of tylenol or formula to help those literally with NOTHING. Some while flaunting, doing extravagant things like theme park passes and more. I'm not telling anyone what to do with their money but we've been super poor and I've NEVER let a friend adopt of venture on a mission trip where I didn't sacrifice something to sow into the dreams of those that I love even if all I could give was $20, a malaria net or bottles/formula for babies. If you can't donate, you can at least be prayerful and encouraging. However it is NEVER acceptable allow one's self to be an accuser of the brethren or mouthpiece for the evil one. Also there are many hurting people and lots of work to be done. If you don't like our methods of ministering you can always show us yours.

Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister GRACE to the hearers.

Matthew 7:21 "Not everyone who says to Me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will." 

HELP! Deadline approaching/MUST WATCH VIDEO!!

If you want to grow in your walk with the Lord, please watch this video. It is the best eye opening 7 minute video I've seen. It.will.change.your.life! I promise. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWHJ6-YhSYQ
Depraved Indifference

Dear Friends,
Thank you to the many who have generously donated toward my fundraising goal! I am in the final stretch of fundraising and need to hit my goal by July 5th. (3 days) I have an urgent prayer request. My heart has been moved, my spirit has been stirred. I have recently been diagnosed with a very serious very chronic disorder. It's called O.O. D. ( Obsessive Orphan Disorder) Sufferers of O.O.D. typically suffer loss of sleep thinking about the153 million children without parents, lack of appetite thinking about the many children that wondering where next meal will come from, and heart issues when feeling led to do something about it! There are several courses of treatment for O.O.D. 1) Is to go personally and "Visit orphans" ( James 1:27) This temporarily alleviates the Symptoms. The only real cure for O.O.D sufferers is adoption. I've dreamed of going to Africa to assist orphans since I was a little girl in fostercare. I've been given the opportunity to go w/ Ordinary Hero to ETHIOPIA in 2 weeks! (TWO SHORT WEEKS!!) It seems totally illogical and even CRAZY given our present circumstance. I am stepping out in faith that God will provide every single penny needed to go! I am ALMOST FULLY FUNDED! I need just a bit more. Brittany Buttram and I need about $1500 between the two of us! The TICKETS have been purchased. If we don't come up with the remainder needed by July 5th, ( 3 days) Brittany and I don't travel! Please help us help ORPHANS and donate today!!! THANK YOU, Alida w5
To donate visit https://www.visitingorphans.org/donations/donate.aspx It will ask "Would you like to designate this donation to a specific team member?" PLEASE REMEMBER to click "YES" and type in "ALIDA RODRIGUEZ" then shoot me an email letting me know you did! Many thanks for your prayers and support -- and don't forget to forward this to anyone who you think might want to donate too!

We also appreciate supplies for the children such as;
*warm clothing,
*light weight jackets,
*toothbrushes/toothpaste,
*tylenol,
*diaper cream,
*formula,
*close toed shoes,
*clothing for children ages 10-15. (older kids can sometimes be forgotten)

Father's Day Blues?

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat. Mother Teresa

Father's Day can be incredibly painful or a totally blase holiday to those of us who've had deadbeat, uncaring, dysfunctional, irresponsible uninvolved abusive fathers. At a young age I was gifted with discernment. While I desperately LONGED for a loving father figure, I knew not to expect it or desire it from my own. Many of my friends had loving doting fathers to guide them through life and provide for them. At times, it was difficult seeing all that I lacked. I'll never forget meeting him again once I became a grown woman. I was 17 years old, living on my own. I never inquired why he never contacted me or sent ANYTHING to provide for even my basic needs. Perhaps feeling guilty, he felt obligated to offer some sort of an explanation. He told me "I meant to check on you, see how you were doing, but you know, outta sight outta mind. You know how that goes."

Nope, I don't know how that goes. I love my children more than I love air. I can't imagine not being able to see them, hug them, kiss them, watch them grow. I can't imagine life not knowing who these incredible kids are. I can't imagine not feeling my little ones arms around my neck as I carry them to bed or missing out as my bigger children tell me their hopes & aspirations, listening to their giggles and jokes, hearing them pray. Both my father and mother abandoned me. Drugs, alcohol and various other things all apparently way more important than I ever was. Many of you share my upbringing in some way or another. Perhaps you too are among the walking wounded. ;-) Oh how I love the words of David in Psalm 68:5 "A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling." Mother's Day is not my favorite holiday either. However, I take comfort in knowing in Psalm 27:10. I enjoy looking at different versions of this passage.

"When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up."
"When my father and my mother forsake me, Then the LORD will take care of me."
"Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close."
"Aunque mi padre y mi madre me dejaran, Con todo, Jehová me recogerá."

I take great joy in knowing that each of us has a purpose. Each of us is cherished, loved, cared for, ADORED by our Heavenly father. Some of us were nothing more than a brief after thought to our earthly fathers. I grew up feeling "forgotten." NONE of us are forgotten by God! Though your earthly parents may fail to care or meet your needs our Abba Father is the PERFECT parent. He is El Shaddai, the all sufficient one. He can meet every need. He can heal every hurt. Come to Him fill the deepest longings of your heart, the vast void in your soul, your unquenchable thirst for love and acceptance. He'll cleanse the wounds in your spirit and give you perfect PEACE! Happy Heavenly Father's Day.

Isaiah 49:15 "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! "

Jeremiah 31:3 Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with lovingkindness have I drawn thee.

Psalm 139 :17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.They cannot be numbered! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up, you are still with me!

Zephaniah 3:17 "The LORD your God is with you, he is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, he will quiet you with his love, he will rejoice over you with singing."

Now, print this out and give this to someone in your life that is Fatherless.
http://www.fathersloveletter.com/Media/FLL_single.pdf

Father's Love Letter
http://www.fathersloveletter.com/kids/FLLkids_poster.pdf For Children

Video here.
Father's Day Blues?

Tough decisions! Adding Uganda??

I am so thrilled to overflowing and blessed! It is AMAZING to me how the Lord has moved MIGHTILY to bring me nearly all the funds needed to travel! In such a short time. It's quite miraculous to me. When I first sought the Lord about going on a mission trip and after my hubby encouraged me and gave me the go ahead, I was suddenly overcome with doubt! I allowed a few negative people to put doubts of the Lords provision in my mind. What if I shared my goal of going and the funds didn't come in? Wouldn't I look foolish? Wouldn't I be SO humiliated and embarrassed? It caused anxiety even thinking about asking for help with funding. After all, you can't embarrass yourself if you don't step out in faith. It really took me mustering up alot of courage, laying down my pride and getting over my immense hurdle/fear of failure. Many hearts were moved and now I am nearly at my goal! You may say "of course Alida, where God guides He provides." However, though I've walked with the Lord for sometime, I still at times, struggle with trusting Him to provide for ALL of my needs. I also struggle with feeling protected by Him. ( childhood spent in foster care) I sometimes feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop or for some awful thing to befall me, because they do tend to. Rather than seeing all that I go through as things He's rescued me and saved me from, I some times think "Lord what awful thing is next? (even though He has proved Himself to me countless times) This stems from trust issues dealing with my upbringing and abandonment issues I'm still working on. I believe that He wants to radically HEAL, deliver me and give me FREEDOM in this area and wants to use this trip to do it. I look forward seeing how He'll grow and mature my faith in areas like this!

A NEW incredible opportunity has presented itself for Brittany Buttram (AMAZING homeschool graduate/college student) & I to visit ETHIOPIA AND UGANDA to volunteer!! ( a HUGE dream of BOTH of ours) I'm praying the Lord's direction and will AND funds to needed ASAP to travel. Because we'd be visiting two countries we'd need slighly more funding. $3600-3800 instead of the $3200. I'd need about $1000 or so more and Brittany would need about $2000. It's difficult to decide. It's a few days longer but it's the trip of a lifetime. I doubt I'll have an opportunity like this again.
In Uganda, our team would spend one day working at Amazima Ministries with their feeding program and with the children of the Karamajong tribe. We'll meet physical and financial needs by bringing supplies and donations from the U.S. We will spend several days with the kids at Canaan Children's Home and several days at Return Ministries. In Ethiopia we'll work in partnership with Project 61's ministry which reaches out to the children who live and work in the city dump. We will also visit children in orphanages throughout Addis Ababa.

Please pray for wisdom on if we should pursue this route. We'd need funding within the next couple days! Also, if possible, and if you so feel lead, please donate. Every penny over my total goes directly to Brittany. Remember it's completely TAX DEDUCTIBLE! We appreciate it. Thank you, Sincerely,
Alida Rodriguez

Village of Korah

Here is a clip that speaks about some of the work we will do there among the Ethiopians. It's about the Village of Korah, the leper colony & Korah dump. It's dwelling place of widows, orphans, lepers and other societal outcasts. Many lives were changed just from some that came on a mission trip similar to the one I hope to go on . Many lives have been transformed with sponsors, schooling and uniforms, medical care etc. Let's bring the Hope of Jesus to those that feel unimportant and forgotten. I love how Samuel says in 3:48 "They think the children and people here are cursed and unimportant, But we ARE important!" http://www.youtube.com/user/Session7Media#p/u/5/f4pgQvgdNqs Thank you for watching. Please pray I'll raise all the needed funds by May 31st! Be Blessed! Alida w5

Date has been changed!

Hello Precious friends,
First I wanted to THANK Those of you that have donated to Visiting Orphans on my behalf! I and my team certainly appreciate your gift! Thank you for helping us help orphans!

Friends, I need your help! Many of you are aware I was previously scheduled to go to Ethiopia in April with Project Hopeful. PH has received much needed publicity as an organization with many magazine artilces, TV & radio interviews that they wanted to use those opportunities to raise awareness on how we can help HIV orphans. The trip has been postponed. I am going with another beloved group "Ordinary Hero" hosted by Visiting Orphans in JULY!!! (God willing) It is my hope that the Lord will use this trip to bless orphans and widows and to advocate for those who without a voice. I pray that my heart will become broken with that which breaks His heart. I hope to share in the fellowship of his suffering and bring hope and joy and the power of His resurrection to those in need.

After much prayer I am stepping out in faith for provision for this trip. I have less than 1 week to raise $1600 needed for the flight ( May 31st) and after that I'll need to raise $1500 more. We hope to also bless the orphanage with an item such as a stove, water purification system or playground.

Please pray for me and my team. Pray that we would be fruitful and productive during our time there. Please also consider donating to help me get there! May 31st is the deadline! The GREAT news is that IT'S TAX DEDUCTIBLE!! Would you happen to know of any organization or businesses that could sponsor me? PLEASE email me if you do. It would make a great write off and is for a great cause. Every little bit helps! Any money raised over this amount goes blesses ORPHANS with items like either a new stove, water purification, or playground.

To donate visit https://www.visitingorphans.org/donations/donate.aspx It will ask "Would you like to designate this donation to a specific team member?" PLEASE REMEMBER to click "YES" and type in "ALIDA RODRIGUEZ". PLEASE, HELP ME HELP ORPHANS, and get a tax break to boot. :-) If you have any items you wish to get rid of, I'd gladly pick them up to help raise the funds needed to travel. Thank you so much for your help and your prayers! Alida w5
Feel free to share this post!

What does it take to help orphans? Any amount helps me get to $3100!
If 620 people donated $5.00 = $3100!
If 310 people donated $10.00 = $3100!
If 155 people donated $20.00 = $3100!
If 103 people donated $30.00 = $3100!
If 62 people donated $50.00 = $3100!
If 31 people donated $100 = $3100! You get the Picture! Thank you for any donation of ANY amount! Bless you. Alida w5

I'm Going to AFRICA!!!

Let us touch the dying, the poor, the lonely and the unwanted according to the graces we have received and let us not be ashamed or slow to do the humble work. Mother Teresa

James 1:27 "Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world."

Dear Friends,
I have an urgent prayer request. Please HELP!!! The past year I have seen God move in amazing ways. He’s brought us through hospitalizations, healed my son Josiah of a life threatening illness, and carried us during numerous trials. Jesus has been so faithful. God has broken my heart with a deep unquenchable desire to bless orphans.

IN APRIL, I’M GOING TO E. AFRICA (God willing) with Project Hopeful& Visiting Orphans to visit HIV orphans in Ethiopia and Uganda. We'll visit children in the Mother Theresa Orphanage, visit the outcasts at the Korah leper colony, bless children living & working in the dump, love on the fatherless HIV children and tell them about Jesus. Then it’s off to Uganda to share about HIV prevention and work with local children ministries. It seems totally illogical, CRAZY even downright foolish considering our present circumstance. However, I know that God takes the foolish things of this world to confound the wise. ( 1 Cor. 1:27) He equips the called. I am stepping out in faith that if Jesus formed this deep conviction to care for orphans in me, He'll provide every single penny needed. I can think of 100 reasons not to go. In the natural it seems impossible but NOTHING is too difficult to God. I want to be bold and attempt great things for Jesus. Wouldn't it be neat if I met my children there? The kids we're supposed to adopt?

There is an African Proverb that says "Pray, but when you pray, move your feet."

Please pray the funds will come in. Please also, if possible, consider donating to help me get there! I need to raise $3600, half needed ASAP to book my ticket. Any money raised over this amount goes directly to bless ORPHANS with items like either a new stove, water purification, or playground. To donate visit https://www.visitingorphans.org/donations/donate.aspx It will ask "Would you like to designate this donation to a specific team member?" Please click "yes" and type in "Alida Rodriguez". Not only will you help me help ORPHANS, it's also TAX DEDUCTIBLE!!!!! If you have any items you wish to get rid of, I'd gladly pick them up to help raise the funds needed to travel. Thank you so much for your prayers, support and for loving "the least of these." I know we may not all wish to go overseas, but we can always support those who do! Bless you,Thank you. In Jesus, Alida w5

"The journey of 1000 miles ( or in this case 9108) starts with a single step!!!" Chinese Proverb
"Growth demands a temporary surrender of security." Gail Sheely
Isaiah 6:8 "Then I heard the voice of the Lord, saying, “Whom will I send? Who will go for us?” I said, “Here I am. Send me!”
Isaiah 1:17 "Learn to do what is right! Promote justice! Give the oppressed reason to celebrate! Take up the cause of the orphan! Defend the rights of the widow!

HIV Adoption! Oh yes you can!

People sometimes ask me why on earth we would ever consider HIV adoption when there are perfectly healthy children that need a home. Why on EARTH would I ever subject my children to something as scary as HIV? Am I CRAZY or just plain irresponsible? Usually it's just that they have old school notions on how the disease is spread. They don't know the facts about HIV adoption. Truth is there are only a few ways to contract HIV. There has never even been a single solitary report of ANYONE getting infected just from living in a home with some one who has HIV or AIDS. That includes sharing drinks, kisses, hugs, sharing utensils, bathing , swimming together. I'll elaborate more on that later. The main reason I wish to adopt an HIV or AIDS orphan is because well, SOMEONE has to. Those millions of people dying in sun shara Africa, and in many other parts of the world often times have children. Those children still exist after the parent passes on. I have prayed from childhood that God would allow me to adopt the children that would otherwise perish. I have seen how these poor children deteriorate if they do not have access to proper food and medication.

Honestly though, the idea of HIV adoption occured to me years ago in Junior High. I remember I was in the Principals Office for misbehaving. ( I was a bit of a hand full, heck, still am) There was an article in a magazine or newspaper about a young little orphan girl that was dying of AIDS. She had no family to care for her, to love her, pray with her, to whisper sweet words of comfort to her in her final hours. She didn't have anyone to show a mothers tender care. It spoke of how she died in some hospital type setting unnoticed. There at 11 or 12 years old my heart broke at the thought of a child slipping into eternity without ever being LOVED. No one to wipe her forehead, no one to hold water to her parched lips. No one to make she she was comfortable or held and rocked and sang to as she took her last breath. The injustice of it all tore at my heart and flooded my soul in anguish. I vowed to either adopt children like that or to start an orphanages or children's home to take care of children like that. Here we are years later and I can't get the image of of my mind Sadly this is all to common for many HIV AIDS children. JUST READ THIS STORY ABOUT THE 6 year old that is shunned by the community because he is an AIDS orphan. http://master.dailychilli.com/news/7638-the-lonely-life-of-a-six-year-old-boy Who will look after him when he becomes to weak to care for himself. I look at my 6 ear old daughter and picture her living on her own by herself... Does that break your heart open yet? Selah HIV adopted daughter of the Twiet-meyers says " Children aren't dying because people aren't helping. the need families like mine. Read her compelling story HERE. http://positivelyorphaned.org/2010/11/27/hiv-adoption-article/
Worldwide, 42 million people are estimated to be living with HIV/AIDS. Of these, 3.2 million are under 15 years of age. In the United States, according to the Centers for Disease Control, there were 816,149 reported cases of HIV in the United States. Of these, 9,074 cases of AIDS were in children under the age of 13In 2010, the number of children worldwide who have lost one or both parents to AIDS is expected to reach 25 million :( In sub-Saharan Africa alone, over 15 million children have been orphaned by the pandemic. This is the first video I ever watched on HIV Adoption. Please watch it is SO informative and inspiring. It will open your eyes to the suffering of these precious little ones. You;ll probably learn a thing or two you didn't know before.
HIV Adoption, Oh YES YOU CAN! http://www.facinglife.tv/episode/season_3/episode_7/episode_307_video_full.htm
Ezekiel 34:16 I will search for the lost and bring back the strays. I will bind up the injured and strengthen the weak…I will shepherd my flock with justice!

Sharing at the Children's Home! Things I wish someone would have told me

I was asked to speak again to the teen girls over at the Children's home. When I came to Christ years ago, I asked the Lord to use the suffering in my life for good and to help others. I didn't want my pain to have been without purpose. Even though it's only about 10-20 girls at a time, it is the Lord answering the deepest desires of my heart. I am always SO blessed and excited when I get to share what the Lord has done for me. I It sounds silly but to me it feels as though I am walking on holy ground! I know that what He has done in my life He can do for others. It is my prayer that seeds are planted, hope is restored and that lives can be redeemed and souls are brought into the kingdom in the lives of the foster youth here in the US.

I shared a bit about my upbringing. I told them how I used to be in foster care. My father was in and out of prison and on drugs. I lived with my grandparents and how my grandfather was violent and my grandmother and I fled to a domestic violence shelter. I spoke of the abuse from my father, neglect from my mother.. I mentioned things like the shoot out at a gas station when I was about 4, followed by a high speed chase on the freeway by the police and my mother being arrested on Christmas day, and how the police gave me a doll because they realized I didn't receive anything that morning.

I spoke about my stay at CASA and CSP youth shelters, and how it changed my life even though my mom was on drugs. I spoke about finding needles in our home and being kicked out when I was 17. I shared all the things I've learned along the way and what I wish people would have told me. Included in Part 2 next post) I gave them the print out of what God taught me along the way and we took turns reading it together as a group. Most of it was straight scripture!!! Some of the teens were blessed and some it was hard to tell. Unlike the other other time I spoke and the response was huge. I included The Fathers love letter. I ALWAYS bring along either this letter or the kids comic book letter. It's words have transformed my life!

One of the girls was so excited that we both lived in the same shelter. I was surprised to hear that some of the workers and counselors there would try to crush the hopes of the girls wanting to have faith in Christ with snide remarks and sarcastic comments. Some of the very people that should be helping them are some of the biggest faith killers and dream destroyers. One made a comment that "they only visit so they can get credit." Ok well, I'm not in school and I am a homeschooling SAHM of 5. I don't think any of the ladies were there to get credit! I can't figure out fir the life of me, why ANYONE like that would get a job working with children! Especially broken hurting children! It reminds me of Matthew 18:6 "but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea." Anyway, I think our group did good. All we can do is offer our meager efforts to the Lord like the boy with the loves and two fishes and leave the cultivating and multiplying of the fruit up to Him. I am confident that if we show up, He'll do the rest. Watch this and let it settle into your spirit. Let it transform your mind and spirit in Christ. Be blessed as you set your mind on things above and know who your daddy is and who you belong to! Love, Alida w5

Himilayan Orphans sing praises

We enjoy many different types of music and in our family we love to dance and sing praise in many different tongues. We actually prefer ethnic Christian praise music to English! ;-) Here is a favorite that we love. Be blessed as you listen and watch. It always blesses me to see that the widow, the poor, and the orphan are known by God and even in their circumstance, He can fill them with joy, praise, peace and purpose. He calls these children by name and they are His! To hear this, go to playlist at the bottom of my blog on turn the volume off of the music playing. Heartsounds has whole collectins of praise music around the world that is amazing. We love the different Indian, Asian and african songs. Here is the excerpt by Heart sounds.

"HIMALAYAS, NEPALI ORPHANGE
Ascending the heights of the Himalayas we discovered what must be one of God's dearest treasures. A Christian orphanage is located here that is home to many Nepali children and youth who would otherwise be homeless.

That is treasure enough, but these children also rise with the sun every morning and see the sun down every evening while they offer beautiful heart-felt worship and prayers. Reports say that the sound of their voices from here reach the heavens but also reverberate all they way down the long Himalayan valleys giving light and hope to all who hear.

We could not help but wonder how a God who is big enough to affect matters of an entire world can manage to find a way to reveal His love to these children in this very remote and isolated "roof of the world". It has served as a reminder to us that God specializes in finding all of us, especially in the most remote places of our hearts, lives and existence. Heartsounds.org

HOPE is in the arms of her family! Praise Jesus!

Can you read this without balling at the special thing God has done? I dare you. Kim and Todd share how it was to finally hold their adopted daughter Hope for the first time. I cry as I picture How sovereign our Lord is. He put this sweet darling little orphan that was left under a bridge as a baby into a FOREVER family that loves and adores her. Please thank the Lord for this marvelous deed! Grab a tissue! http://www.tmphillips.com/adoption/
May 2nd, 2008 Gotcha, bethel
How sweet it is! It’s 2:11am here and I woke up because my side was soaking wet from Hope’s pee! She usually sleeps in a crib but our hotel didn’t have any available so she is sleeping between Kim and I. This soaking is not surprising because the diapers we have for her are pretty thin/lame. The soaking was a little alarming for me personally though because it was my second soaking, and I was the one who got soaked the first and only other time when she was sitting on my lap earlier in the evening. Is it my destiny to be continuously soaking wet by Hope’s pee? I am just kidding around of course, but it’d be a small price to pay to be continue to be able to be near this sweet little gem of the orient.
We now have around 6GB of photos and video from our gotcha day, but I am going to have to leave you waiting in continued suspense because it’s dark and I don’t want to roust anyone by lurking around for my gear. So I will try to give a brief description and then head back to my cold wet side of the bed (with a towel down underneath me).
So we left with our guide and driver and went back through the city of Beijing again past the Square, marveling once again at the sea of Chinese humanity that was present there. Then we had about an hour drive into the countryside. We got a little lost toward the end and then wound up in what could best be described as Podunk China. We made it into a little villageish place and Guillamme met us and escorted us into their complex.
The minute we got out of the van I saw Hope in their entryway, and my heart jumped! I think we were all pretty nervous! We had hugs with Guillamme and Delphine at the van then we hurried in to greet Hope. Sarah was holding her and we all just went up and started to say hello. I can’t remember if Sarah gave her to Kim or if she just set her down, as I had said hello and then spent a few moments grabbing the recording gear. By the time I turned around to point my camera at her, Hope was at my feet and came up to me and I kneeled down and she came into my arms and we hugged! I am tearing up again just thinking about it. It wasn't long before we had all had a hug with her. It was an absolutely amazing moment!
They began to tell us that Hope had been acting out of character all day and and seemed to be a little down and to know that something was up. At the moment we came together she brightened and has been seeming to really enjoy herself and we all have been bonding like crazy!
Bethel is such an amazing place and I really can’t put words right now to how being in the midst of these children impacted my heart. If I have to try, I’d say I feel like I left that place wrecked with love for each one them. Over the course of our four or five hours we had there, we were able to tour their facilities, they sang us some songs and we shared a wonderful cake and watermelon together. We got to go outside and see their goats and chickens and dogs, and to see the new houses that are under construction. It was such a joy to have this time together with Bethel. Many of the kids had a hard time with Hope leaving and needed encouragement. For others it was obvious that it was extra hard for them, because they are aware of their own desire to be adopted. Our guide didn't rush us, and we almost even spent the night, but it didn't ultimately seem the right thing to do. They gave us a keepsake photo album that one of the Ayi’s put together of Hope’s time at Bethel, and a heart necklace for her for when she gets older, so she can be reminded of their love for her…
We got back to the hotel around 8pm and went right out to another Chinese restaurant called South Beach. It was really good food (I have more menu sample photos to share) and ambiance, and it was a very surreal experience to have Hope there with us. Our only minor problem so far has been the few times when Jonathan and Abigail start to fight over who gets to hold her next! It was neat because there was a piano player and violinist playing at the restaurant and it was obvious that Hope was enjoying their music! I held her and sang to her on the way back to the hotel, which was my first extended time of getting to hold her, and my heart continued to swell with affection toward her. She has such a sweet spirit and is very go with the flow. She got a little fussy at one point at dinner but Kimberly did a great job managing it. She was very cute playing with her rice! I got to sing and cuddle her to sleep tonight when she started to get upset, and that was highlight of my whole trip so far! Once she was calm we just lay there for a long time playing with her bottle, and then we fell asleep together.

Wow an answer to prayer!

Almost everyday I chat with one of my best friends (Gina, girl I love ya) on the phone. Each day we pray for one another before getting of the phone. Today after she prayed for me, I added that prayer for some of my relatives that are going through very hard times, for salvation for both friends and families. Also, I prayed mentioning that we haven't heard anything back from the foster care agency that we signed up for and that if it wasn't God's will that He'd take the desire away to adopt, that His will be done. I didn't think anything of the prayer.

Hours later, I checked the email and a friend of mine typed that she knew of a Black/Hispanic biracial couple seeking an adoptive family for their child, a baby boy due SOON. They wanted a biracial family to adopt this child. And am I interested? OF COURSE! we are black/Hispanic. We sent our information and a picture. We are praying whatever God's will for us is. If nothing else we PRAISE the Lord that this special couple chose LIFE for their baby! AMEN! I pray if it is not us that is chosen that another godly family would be blessed with this child. I don't want to get my hopes up. I know the Lord will bless us with more children, either now or sometime in the future. The thought of holding a precious newborn in my arms in just a few short months sounds absolutely wonderful. Nevertheless, His will, not mine.

A friend of mine just shared Statistics that said that not only are we Christians having an equal amount of abortions, but we are actually having a HIGHER percentage of abortions than the nonbelievers! Is that astonishing or what? I am totally flabbergasted at that. I guess folks want to hide it, but God's Word says what is done in secret will be shouted from the rooftops! There is NO peace in covering up sin, it just begets MORE sin. There is healing in the confession and dealing with the sin. I should know, The Lord forgave and redeemed mine, even used it for His Glory.

I remember reading about girls that back in the day girls would hide pregnancies with baggy clothes, then leave babies on doorsteps or give their baby up for adoption. We'd be thrilled to find a baby at our door. ;-)

Canaan told me last night "Mama, wouldn't it be great if there was a sign on our porch that said that mommies don't have to
kill the babies in their tummies and that they could leave them on our doorstep? We would open our door and take care of the babies?"

I have been praying the last couple of weeks for those aborted babies, and those babies that are discarded in dumpsters and other places. I keep praying that the Lord would somehow direct these children to us! I want to tell the mothers that there children ARE WANTED! If you could spread the word, we don't care the color. We would gladly take in any babies and give them a loving home a future and a hope! My heart grieves after reading about the Santa Ana woman (I live in Santa Ana)that gave birth to a baby and then buried it in the yard. I don't know what awful circumstances we went on that caused her to do such a thing. I pray girls/women would chose life for their babies, even if they won't be the ones to raise them. If you guys want to spread the word. We love children and color doesn't matter to us. Every child is a wanted child to us. I am totally serious! Wouldn't that be such a testimony of God's goodness! ;-) Be Blessed. Alida w4

Beginning stages of our Adoption/first support meeting

This is from february 23rd.

The Lord is getting ready to do A NEW thing. I am so excited. I signed up for this So Cal Haitian group that focused on Haiti and African adopted kids. I was invited to attend a function with people form neighboring churches in Orange county that had either already adopted, or were in the process of adopting. It was WONDERFUL! Can I share what I saw... I walked in and saw children from all ethnicities that had been placed in loving homes! This must be what heaven looks like. MANY joyful happy kids form all the colors of God's magnificent Earth! There was a gorgeous little Indian looking girl, I just missed meeting the Ethiopian child. Plenty of black children, Caucasian and mixed. It was so neat! I feel in LOVE with a beautiful little brown skinned curly headed girl that was just gorgeous. Her sweet German father told me that she was a safe haven baby Safe Haven ( http://www.babysafe.ca.gov/ ) I rejoiced to see this beautiful child alive and thriving. Her mother chose LIFE for her. In this day and age of convenience and moral relativism a mother thought it wise to give her child a future PRAISE GOD! She seemed to like me and I asked if her if I could take her home, she said yes! hehehe I reminded myself not to covet and that she already HAD a loving home.

I got to meet two families that are adopting from Haiti that I clicked with. One gal, Angela http://www.makefunofyourday.blogspot.com/ already has three children and wasn't even looking to adopt when God called her to it. God told her to adopt this little girl that has some medical issues. He later told her to ask about her siblings, that the orphanage didn't even know about. Later the birth mother gave birth to another child, a little boy. Some friends that visited the orphanage mentioned that they saw the birth mother of her adopted kids and that she had a baby, and asked if she was interested. She called the orphanage to ask about the baby. the pastor asked her "how did you find to about the baby? " He told her that the birth mother had come to him asking if Angela would be willing to adopt the baby as she is already adopting the siblings. the director said that the didn't want to ask her or she might feel pressured to take that child as well. Instead he told her that he would PRAY that if it was God's will for the baby boy to be adopted by that family, that SOME ONE OTHER THAN HIM would tell them about the baby! AND GOD DID IT! ( isn't He good like that!)

Finally a friend mentioned to Angela about three teens that were about to become too old to be adopted into a loving home and if she would pray for them. She said she would ONLY pray for them as she wasn't looking to adopt a teen. As she prayed for the three teens God spoke to her heart that one of them was her son! She obeyed and went and visited all the children and love EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THEM! Isn't God good. We both cried at her telling of the story!

The other family http://www.bringingkeananhome.blogspot.com/ I met adopted a cute little African American boy a little younger than my boys. She has a little toddler girl (bio) and is adopting another toddler named Keenan from Haiti. Her hubby spoke passionately that if the adoption was going to take 18 months (as that seems to be how long adoptions are taking for Haiti these days if not LONGER) that he'd move the whole family there and live in Haiti because THAT IS HIS SON! Wow. I was totally inspired!!!! What a sweet wonderful family. Kristen is so sweet, she drives her son all the way across the OC to put him in choir at a black church, so that he'll see people who look like him! AWESOME! They encouraged us as we are in the VERY BEGINNING stages in our adoption journey. I can't wait to see what the Lord will do. I have the feeling it is the beginning of a GREAT thing, a NEW thing. I can't wait to see how the Lord would redeem all that has happened for His WONDERFUL GLORY! Lord have your way! Amen! Alida w4
Thus says the Lord Who made a way through the sea, A path through the mighty waters. Remember not the former things, Neither consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing, Even now it is springing to light. Do you not perceive it? A way will I make in the wilderness And rivers in the desert! Isaiah 43:16-19.

But GOD said!

I cried out to the Lord to do something with my life, and to make it count for something. He is faithful and has done just that! He will use you too, If you ask Him.
For some people, life is really really tough because Satan knows if he can get you when you are young, and get you feeling worthless, he can destroy your purpose, if we let him.

God is gracious because no hurt with Him is ever wanted, and nothing painful ever goes unused. Even our mistakes are used. Romans 8:28, and we know ALL THINGS work together for good to those that Love Him and are called according to His purposes.
The same awful things that made me hate life and suicidal, is now a blessing to theirs. Ecclesiastes tell us that "He makes everything beautiful in His time."

I wanted to share some things that the Lord showed me because it was helpful to me.. Hopefully it will encourage you. I don't know about you. but these are things Satan has told me again and again from the time I was a child, but I want you to see what God says about us.

Satan told me everyday that I was a mistake and had no purpose here, BUT GOD SAID Jeremiah 1:5 Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart for my holy purpose.
He also says Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

When I had children, he told me my children would amount to anything either... but God said..

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.""Proverbs 16:3 He also said "and all thy children shall be taught of the LORD; and great shall be the peace of thy children. Isaiah 54:13
When I have heard that I am illegitimate, bastard, unwanted etc...Bt God said God said I am the daughter of a High King, Galatians 3:26-27 (KJV) says, "For you are all children of God by faith in Christ Jesus. I thank the Lord that he is our Heavenly Father and "Psalm 27:10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will take me up. Also "God setteth the solitary (lonely) in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains:Psalm 68:6 When I hear that I am worthless...

Proverbs 31.10 AMP, "A capable, intelligent and virtuous woman, who is he who can find her? She is far more precious than jewels and her value is far Above Rubies or pearls." Luke 12:7 "Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows.
You will always be this way, you are such a screw up.. but God said ' Philippians 1:6 ...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will complete it until the day of Christ Jesus also Jude 1:24 Now unto him that is able to keep you from falling, and to present you faultless before the presence of his glory with exceeding joy.
When I hear how I have failed again God says Proverbs says For a righteous man falls seven times, and rises again, 1 Peter 4:8 Love covers a multitude of sins.
When I hear that I have messed up too much this time.. But God said
Lamentation 3:2222 Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.

I love Elizabeth Elliott's quote about when you make a fail, mistake or sin " just do the next right thing." instead of letting it taking you further into sin or into a pit of failure and depression, shake it off, confess it, repent, and move on!

I made many mistakes, but I think of Jesus when He tells the disciples (who were rebuking Mary for pouring expensive oil all over His feet) LUKE 7:36-47. To whom much is forgiven, he loveth much; and to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little. And the Lord has forgiven me ALOT! from premarital sex, ruining my testimony to those I was witnessing to, to murdering my baby through abortion as a teen, the Lord uses all things for His Glory! I love how He can pick up the pieces form the mess that we've made and the hole we have dug and make it a masterpiece of His grace and glory!

Once we stop trying to hold on to control of our lives, or our plans and agendas he can do a great work. Ask the Lord to give you His vision for your children. Ask Him to show Him how you can "train them up in the way the should go." Which is the way the Lord has made them to go, their own natural bent. Ask Him to open your eyes to what His will is for your family! He will do it, He is faithful.

Go somewhere quiet and write down what goals you have for them, be it character or whatever.. Write down a mission statement of what you stand for as a family. Write how you plan to meet that statement and the goals. Then start asking the Lord to show you what your hidden sins are, and to Lead you! He will! He LOVES you and HE LOVES your children and He wants you to live life abundantly!
Love to you, In CHRIST, our GLORIOUS REDEEMING Savior! Alida w4