I have been thinking about the family I come from.
My father was a deeply disturbed individual. He was violent and abusive. He never contributed anything for me or my sisters financiallly and spent most his time in jail or on drugs or drunk.
My mother was could often be uncaring, very distant, and very punitive. She would withhold love if I displeased her. We aren't very close and that is a shame.
God is gracious enough though to put it in my heart, all the time the question... " How did they get that way"?
Someone had to be very cruel to my father to make him the way he was, my poor mother had such a terrible childhood and I can see why she is the way she is.
That is what being a child of God is, it is looking beyond yourself to see beyond someone's actions and mistakes. This is why we are commanded to love our enemies.
Mat 5:44 "But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you."
Luke speaks of this "Luk 6:35 But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and [to] the evil.
It is looking at the heart. That is how Christ is with us.