So a family member called us at around last month 1pm explaining to me that they were getting evicted. AGAIN! They needed boxes and to store "a few things in our garage." I was hesitant as we still have stuff from LAST time they moved out... over 3 or 4 YEARS AGO!! They also needed help moving it. This made me apprehensive because I KNEW they would end up asking if they could stay with us. I KNEW they would try to manipulate us (again) and try to bring all that they are, dysfunctional, drug addicted, self consumed, and crazy, into our peaceful home. I called several friends for pray and advice. (Proverbs 15:22"Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellers they are established.") ALL agreed not to jeopardize my family with taking in the adults. I prayerfully considered offering to take the children. (an offer I've made before)
It stressed me out because I pictured the children on the street. It hurts to see the children bear brunt of suffering from the foolish mistakes of their parents. I knew I'd be forced to say NO. I am by nature a DOER, helper, a rescuer. Present me with a problem and my mind immediately begins thinking about how to solve it. 9 times our of 10, I've either been through that particular trial or situation, knew someone how has, have read an inspiring book or resource about it (to point you to) or will find someone who has and get their advice for how to conquer whatever this situation is that needs fixing. I am a servant. A good portion of my life is spent serving others and training my kids to do the same. We feed the homeless, visit the elderly, bring meals to the sick, care for the widow and most especially advocate for the orphan. It is who we are, IT IS WHAT WE DO! However, I have long since been gifted with knowing the difference, the thin line that can easily cross over to enabling. I have seem over and over in my life and in my family what happens when you bail out the drug addicted. We have family members going into their 60's that have never had to "grow up" as they always had someone to take care of them and face the God given consequences of their choices. It's actually quite cruel when you consider the turmoil that follows when those that bail them out pass away. They'll have grown OLD and have to face a LIFETIME of consequences that should have been dealt with in youth or early adulthood. A life wasted not learning to yield to the natural order of life. It's not pretty... In fact it's downright ugly. Lord knows I am who am today because I had to sow that which I reaped, both the good and the bad. My heart is to point others to Christ, but not to become someone's crutch.
I remember telling this family member years ago that if they didn't let go of this activity and repent of their sin that it would completely destroy their family. I'm not psychic, I just know God's word! They mocked and berated me. Since then I've seen them dragged lower than dogs. It's heartbreaking. It's hard to explain to my children in an honorable way. For a long time I'd withhold the information from my children. Now I've decided I will share it. I'd rather my children learn what consequences follow sin and how to avoid it.
Anyhow, sure enough this family asked if they could stay with us for a "day" until they get their check. (which they already admitted wouldn't be there for about a week) I told them no but that we'd be willing to care for the children until they got back on their feet. They were shocked, more blaming. She asked again when I arrived and then told me she's not sure how I could do that to her. She earlier told me how she would never do the same to me which is funny considering my childhood. She would and she did. However that is not the reason I said no. For the sake of my own family I stuck to my guns. I have worked long and hard to have a peaceful godly home. I don't swear, drink or do drugs, heck we don't even watch TV! I certainly won't invite people who do those things and lack every bit of common sense of self control into my house. When I arrived the police were there and their belongings were all on the sidewalk curb. One of them was arguing, swearing with a roommate. I was going to say no to storing their stuff but I figured it would be less traumatic for the children if I moved it into my home. I remember when I was young my mother had all of our belongings in storage and didn't pay it. ALL of our things were lost. Every photo, every thing! I only have 2 photos of my childhood. (Sadly, This is true of many foster youth) My children ask me what I looked like as a baby and if they look like me. I have no idea! I took all 5 of my children and made many trips back and forth all day moving their belongings to my home. It was late into the night when I finished. I took the their kids to Walmart and got them school supplies needed for school the next day. I explained to the children that we love them and they could stay with us as long as they wanted. I explained that in our family we don't fight or do drugs so we couldn't allow that into our home. They nodded in agreement and enjoyed going from sharing a house full of addicts, strippers etc. to having their own rooms in a stable home. We went from 5 kids to 7 in an instant. My children were excited and the kids seemed excited as well My husband and I, feeling up to the task and feeling certain that this is God's will.