Feb 1, 2009
I attended a seminar by "The Pearls." I enjoyed going. Hubby liked it too. We use great discernment whenever we read/ or receive advice from "parenting experts." We loved hearing from Debi Pearl. She is such a sweet lady. The photo included is my friend Rhonda ( Jews For Jesus, Debi Pearl, and I. Hubby had to work Saturday so I had to take all 4 kiddos with me. That was an adventure! Mike Pearl is much better in person than in TTUAC. But I wonder how much of that is just that his kids are having kids and with age he's mellowed out? I loved his emphasis on enjoying and loving your husband and children, doing fun adventurous activities as a family, lowering your standards if it's what it takes to be content. I have learned that too. I tend to be VERY perfectionist in marriage and child raising. I used to be very upset that my hubby didn't do devotions with the family as often as I'd like, or lead the neighborhood kids in prayer/bible studies, not recognizing that he encourages and supports them while their own parents often neglect them, and models a godly father. God encouraged me to love what he DOES DO! And I love that man so much. Mike Pearl had wonderful grandfatherly encouraging wisdom.
I am a perfectionist parent. <-- hard to break habit.. My kids are awesome and if they had a bad attitude or just whined, I'd act like my kids were the worst in the world! My hubby would laugh as I'd be like " YOU ARE 4 YEARS OLD! WHAT are you THINKING??? " this would send him into fits of laughter as he pointed out how ridiculous I'd sound! ;-) What DOES bother me is that he mentioned there and in the Joy of training videos, "we are not perfect, but we want perfect kids." That makes me uncomfortable. WE are sinful and imperfect. How dare we think our children won't have faults? He may have been facetious at saying that, but sorry to say, many people are STUPID and will blindly follow anything someone says. I have seen this first hand. I can name many parents that have blindly followed a scheduling method with nursing that are SO surprised when their babies wean by 6 or 9 months. If that was natural, God would have sent babies out of the womb with a can of formula! We also were amused but shocked at how he told the story of the mother with a teen son that wouldn't turn off the computer, that out of the blue attacked her son with a switch. My hubby wanted to know why she shouldn't just walk over and turn the computer off. Seemed a bit more reasonable to me. Better yet, unplug that baby altogether!
The other thing is.. out of our little group, there seemed to be a difference of opinion of what he said about pointing a gun at a child that wouldn't stop touching an object. Some heard that he pointed a 45, and some heard that he used his finger AS a 45. I'm hoping he meant his finger! That just wouldn't FLY over here in California ;-) I was able to cull some great encouraging info. Some of it will not fly in our home. I will NOT switch my infants anytime soon. I also didn't like that he mentioned switching the baby on the head or anywhere flesh was exposed. Mark my words... There is going to be some IDIOT that will abuse there child via a head injury that will be saying "but Michael Pearl told me so!" There are plenty of places to spank/switch a child, the head really shouldn't be one of them. I also didn't like the whole thing about you must WIN in some sort of battle with your children. I don't feel I'm at war with my kids... or us against them, so that didn't apply to my family. It may be helpful to someone though.
I was sort of bothered when afterward someone who was clearly QF asked what his take on birth control was. He actually advocated the use of birth control, his mother had diabetes and would have died had she not used it. He said his wife used it also. I was very surprised by that! I wonder if Nancy Campbell knows that. My problem with that is many folks will rather ask a Christian guru about what to do with huge life changing decisions and not seek the Lord once they get an answer they were hoping to hear. ( see post)I have listened numerous times on pastors perspective or other like shows and not once have I EVER heard of a pastor saying "well you're called to present your body as a living sacrifice right? Or what does the bible say about children? Or who determines the course of your life, you or God? or didn't you say at conversion that God was to take over control of your life? Do you think you are keeping with that? " I heard a week ago or so, Brian Broderson say BC is fine and the other guy chimed in that if you have children and can't provide for them your no better than an infidel, so don't have to many children or your in danger of being an infidel. ARG!!! NOTHING abut how many forms of BC are abortificients, nothing! Nothing about trusting in the Lord with all our hearts and not leaning on our own understanding, that He will supply all your needs, NOTHING about Children being an inheritance or like arrows in the hands of a mighty warrior or what the Bible actually SAYS about children! I know tons of Christians that use BC because they don't search scriptures or the Lord and a famous pastor may have told them its ok. I think the Lord calls us to "DO HARD THINGS " which may involve dying to self and trusting in God to plan your family. I also knew that every excuse people use for birth control are the same one used to get an abortion! Think about it!
I really hope that folks will prayerfully glean the info and use God's word and the spirit as their guide. I have several friends that used the Pearls that are now doing other things though they adhered to it meticulously for years. There children are getting worse with lying and being defiant at a time when "supposedly" the need for spanking should be sparse! I have also met some very sweet kids that had parents that used and are using the Pearls. I'm guessing it depends on the parents leaning and trusting on the Lord to guide them and what might work for a particular situation. It is better to know your children have issues and work on them than to think children are really obedient and be fooled to their true heart condition. I mention that as I do believe that is your only PULL with your children is that you can beat them into submission then I feel sorry for you when your children are too big to spanked! I think of friends that brag that there kids obey because they'll get one heck of a spanking therefore they have an "obedient" child. If that's the only reason your kiddos are obeying I'd start praying NOW for deliverance and guidance! That us not a true heart change at all.
It would seem that the Lord may not have the same things in mind for every child. I'm sure that if the Lord wanted us all to start swatting our infant X amount of times with X object, he would have specified it very specifically as He did with many other things in Leviticus etc. I do LOVE the Good and Evil work that they are doing. I also got to ask him a few questions afterward and liked his response. I asked what he thought I should do as I have a family member that does immoral stuff and constantly tries to tell me that it's right and God calls them to do it it, then if I show scripture showing otherwise, they say "you are not honoring me, the bible says honor your father and mother."
He mentioned an article in last months issue about it and said not to compromise and to limit my time with them ( like holidays) I asked what he thought about them trying to sabotage the godly way we seek to raise our kids. He mentioned laying down the law by saying this is how we are raising our children, he is WHY we do it, (we'll be doing this after your dead) we will not change it, but we need you to know if you don't respect that and sabotage it we will be forced to break fellowship with you. I honestly think some in my family would do all they can so that my children will rebel, just so they can say that all I do for my children was in vain, and to feel better about the things they do or fail to do with their own children. I'd LOVE it if EH would do a seminar with the Campbell's. Imagine folks lining up to hear about the JOY of motherhood and being Keepers of your home! Or what about what God says about children, nursing, raising kids, adoption, etc?