Yesterday was a day that didn't go as planned. we got the family up really early, dropped off the kids at a friends house,(Thanks Sue) went to the hospital to get what we thought were the results of Josiah's medical issues. I didn't sleep much that night as I kept tossing and turning anticipating the following day and being uncomfortable being so huge in pregnancy. I figured the Lord wanted me up and praying/ reading His word, so I did. I was really blessed over and over by
Psalm 94:17 Unless the LORD [had been] my help, my soul had almost dwelt in silence. When I said, My foot slippeth; thy mercy, O LORD, held me up. In the multitude of my thoughts within me thy comforts delight my soul."
When we got to the hospital, they wanted new blood work for Josiah and told us that no doctor was scheduled to see us or even there. We explained to them how we were told that we'd get the results for his illness. They mentioned they'd have someone call us. You should have seen Josiah's face when they took his blood. He didn't flinch at all but then turned and pointed to the needle looking confused as if to say "WHAT! i thought we were DONE with this!" It was pretty cute. After we left from picking up the kids they called us to go back as his platelets were low and he needed a transfusion.
Josiah was sleeping as we checked in so I BEGGED them to let me keep him sleeping in my sling while they put in the line for the transfusion. He stayed asleep for several minutes while they dug all around his veins but the couldn't get it in properly, (it was nauseating to watch) before he woke up pretty peeved with all of us! CHOC is very neat at all that they do to keep the children comfortable and happy. They had two volenteer dogs come in to say hi, which thrilled Josiah. They mentioned he has platelets of 16,000 not the original 15,000 and that normal is 100,000-150,000 so I'm thinking the original nurse must have been speaking of adults not children when she mentioned normal being 200,000.
I asked the doctor what they thought he had and they said he could just still be recovering. I asked if they ruled out Aplastic Anemia and they said no. They also mentioned maybe having to do another Bone Marrow Aspiration and biopsy. ;-( I honestly don't think they have a clue, or at least they aren't telling us until they know for certain, maybe for liability reasons? I'm guessing we'll be going back to CHOC for labs and transfusions every 5 days or so, until they figure out what's wrong... A sweet mama in one of my groups offered for me to have her father ( a doctor at UCI) give a second opinion. We are praying about it. I am starting to think we may be in this for a long haul. I got sort of down about it today as I started thinking about how this all is coming at our family at once. When will God help Huatzin get a job? Should we try to move to a smaller home in the meantime or stay put? Will I have to bring Josiah every week to the hospital for constant transfusions and testing all while holding him and a newborn? Will I have to constantly ask friends to watch my other 3 children while he gets treatment? Or bring them with? I reason that I need to not worry about tomorrow and take each moment by moment as it comes, sort of cross the bridge when we get to it...
I am feeling weary and need to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus and not the circumstances because I get so overwhelmed when I look at the situation or try to figure out solutions on my own. God needs only to speak the Word and my baby would be healed and because He hasn't then the purpose he has for this has not yet been fulfilled. My happy little guy ( we call him Joyful Josiah) has been crying lately and I'm sure it's because he doesn't understand all that's going on and this is scary for him. It breaks my mama heart. It must break God's too. I don't even pray for the when of when everything should happen, Huatzin getting a job, giving birth, and answers for this health issue because I trust that His timing and plan is going to be better than mine and He sees the whole picture. Now it's just Help us to be in your will. Show us your will for us Lord. May His purposes prevail. Alida w4
I am always content with what happens; for I know that what God chooses is better than what I choose. -- Epictetus
I have held many things in my hands, and have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess. -- Martin Luther
I may no longer depend on pleasant impulses to bring me before the Lord. I must rather respond to principles I know to be right, whether I feel them to be enjoyable or not. -- Jim Elliot
The task ahead of us is never as great as the power behind us.-- Author Unknown
We need never shout across the spaces to an absent God. He is nearer than our own soul, closer than our most secret thoughts. -- A. W. Tozer
3 comments:
Alida...could he be any cuter? Look at those HUGE smiles...so precious.
Dearest Alida,
Your first line really caught my attention, as it is so very often the case in our lives as abandoned followers of Jesus, no? "Yesterday was a day that didn't go as planned." One could take that phrase and preach a sermon! :) Couldn't we also say, "This month was a month that didn't go as planned." or "Last year was a year that didn't go as planned."? I once wrote "Lord, unless YOU acomplish Your great purpose in this mess, I am surely doomed because I do not have a 'plan b'. It is totally in Your hands, so....work!" And that is the confidence we have, sister Alida! That His plans (though often so different than our own) WILL BE ACCOMPLISHED and WILL BE WORKED TOGETHER FOR OUR GOOD! And I believe that His great, high plan was accomplished yesterday for your family though it seems so "blah" to us. I think of you so often and I pray, pray, pray. I am confident that He who is able, will also perform for the good benefit of your sweet, beautiful, precious little Josiah, for you and your dear husband, for all your other children, and for this precious baby yet to be born. You are right in saying that when we focus on Jesus, things are not nearly as stressful or overwhelming, but in our flesh it is so extremely so hard to do isn't it? It is for me. I will lay things down for a bit and look on His face, but before I know it, I find myself striving to try and pick things up again and "work them out" when I'm totally unable to do anything about it! This has been a big thing as I've watched my dad enter into what Hospice calls the "death process". So, dearest, sweetest Alida, I pray you will find comfort knowing that others are struggling in different ways as you are, and the grace of Christ is more than enough, as you already know! We know it! We know He has a "best" for your family and little Josiah, and He will not settle for 2nd best. He loves you fiercely and with a firey, jealous love. You are HIS. His hand is on you and He is WITH you. He could never forget you! You are *graven* on the palms of His hands! He is there, in that battle in your mind, dear one. He is there to put the enemy to flight and give you peace. There is a 4th "man" standing in the fire of the furnace of the attacks satan brings upon your thoughts. I am continuing to pray, and passing each update onto my local prayer list. Thanks for sharing these gorgeous pictures! He is so beautiful! I can just imagine your story in "Above Rubies" one day, Alida. What a testimony! A great encouragement to many mothers. Who knows the millions of ways God will use this trial for His glory? :) Be encouraged, rest as much as you are able to, and get ready for this darling little "arrow" coming any day! Know that you all are being covered in prayer. And when the day doesn't go as planned, remember that it gives way to a new dimension of trust that is needed in your journey, and is working in you, an eternal weight of glory. Keep the updates coming as you can. Much love to you!
I'm just checking in on you to let you know we're praying for you all
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