Our first homestudy meeting

On Tuesday, we had our very first home study meting. It was a very chaotic day. I went back and fourth between whether or not we should cancel. We had issues with childcare and all sorts of urgent things that needed to be taken care of the same day. I also signed up to bring a meal to a friend that had a baby. I felt such opposition. I pondered whether this was an attack from the enemy to keep us from adopting or the Lord saying it isn't time. We considered adopting the siblings of a friends sons from Ghana. I prayed to the Lord and said " you know I don't want to inconvenience anyone and I don't want to go outside of your will. If you want us to adopt you'll help me find childcare for my children with someone I trust." ( which isn't a whole lot of people) Finally, miraculously my friend called saying that she would love to watch my children and to have them over. Our kids were able to play with her dog, chickens, a bunny and pet horses nearby. They had a blast. Huatzin and I discussed that if this meeting went bad or if something didn't feel right we'd go ahead and pull the plug and try to adopt from Ghana instead. I cooked the meal for both families, stopped at the store, dropped off the kids, dropped off the meal, and got to our appointment with 2 minutes to spare.

The meeting went really well. I really like our social worker. ( I didn't think I would) She left us feeling very hopeful which is something they don't do in the classes. They always tell you worst case scenario and overestimate everything, especially timeframes. In the classes they told us it could be anywhere from 12-18 months or more to get certified. She told us it could be as little as 4 or 5 months or less depending on how quickly we got everything turned in. Our social worker was very optimistic and down to earth. There aren't any siblings matching our preference at this time. ( Black or Asian, or any HIV orphans) She did mentioned that with our flexible preferences of 0-5 any ethnicity, willing to accept siblings, drug exposure and some special needs we probably wouldn't wait long to adopt. YAY. A really total God thing happened. 2 years ago our entire family fell in love with a sibling set. They were so "perfect" for our family in every way. I told her how we used to pine over a sibling set on the heart gallery. She asked us which one. I mentioned their names. She KNEW them. I have asked around all over the "system" and had just given up hope that I'd ever know what happened to them. She told me that it was such a shame I didn't contact her sooner. I wish we wold have considered her agency first instead of Olivecrest.
( we had a HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE AWFUL experience with Olivecrest, ( I've since met many others who have also) which eventually led to us not getting a sibling set we desperately wanted, and kept a sibling set from ever being ADOPTED into a loving home. Our family might have looked very different than it does now. I will keep them in prayer for as long as I live. They are on my wall and in my heart forever. When I pray my my own children I pray for them. We have not since then, seen any other sibling group that matched our preferences so perfectly. The Lord at least gave a bit of closure.

I am so excited at what the Lord is doing in our family. I am bubbling over with anticipation to on getting licensed to adopt. I DREAM of the day they call us saying " we have a match for your family." I await especially for the moment when we hear " "these children are now fully and legally YOURS!" I long for the day He uses our family to bring joy, hope, love, rest and closure to orphans. I pray we will be able to rescue, redeem and ransom little ones on the brink of destruction. We want to be the ones that bring stability and peace to them. We want to show them the love of a father and mother, to lovingly point them to the Christ.

Psalm 68:6 "God sets the solitary in families: he brings out those which are bound with chains"
For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you received a spirit of adoption in which we call out, Abba, Father. The Spirit himself testifies together with our spirit that we are God's children. And if children, then also heirs heirs of God and coheirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with him in order also to be glorified with him. (Romans 8:14-17)

Sharing at the Children's Home! Things I wish someone would have told me (Part 2)

My handout to the Children's Home teens

Things you should know ( Things I wish someone would have told me)

You will need to purpose not to let your circumstances destroy you! Do not let anyone or anything deter you from reaching your full potential! It is up to YOU to make something of yourself. I purposed not to let my present situation ruin my life or my future. You can too! 1 Corinthians 15:58 Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain. There will be those who say you can’t meet your goals or call you names but please remember the wise words of Madea. “ it ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer too.” ;-) Learn to flourish wherever you are. Bloom where you are planted.

You are not an accident! Some of you are walking around feeling defeated and feeling like you are an accident, a mistake. This self defeating thinking brings about self destructive behaviors and suicidal thoughts. (by the way, with suicide- I realized one day that if I killed myself, the people who hurt me might feel bad, or they might not, but they would go on with their lives, I wouldn’t! ) Jeremiah 1:5 tell us that “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you.” Before the foundations of the World were created he knew you and knew how long you would live and everything about you. Matthew 10:29 says “the very hairs on your head are numbered!”

God LOVES you! For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life (John 3:16). But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved (Ephesians 2:4-5). "…the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls: Who, when he had found one pearl of great price, went and sold all that he had, and bought it." Matthew 13:45-4 Sweet sister you are that Pearl of great price. He died so that you might live.

He has a plan for you and your life! Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Romans 8:28 “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” It doesn’t mean life will be easy but it does mean that if you let him He can use your life for good. That good things can come from evil the most terrible, painful situations that you have. Your pain and hurts are never wasted with God! He may even use your life to help others going through the same things you have. He holds your tears in a bottle. Psalm 39:12. Give Him your hurt and don’t let it destroy you.

God is the perfect parent! When your father and mother let you down, remember that He is always there for you. I remember feeling so abandoned, unwanted and unloved. Until God showed me Psalm 68:5 “A father to the fatherless,a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.” Psalm 27:10 “When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.” Jesus said in John 14:18 "I will not leave you orphans." He is El Shaddai “ the All Sufficient One.” He is capable of meeting all of my needs and yours.

Set goals. Aim high! Then revisit these goals weekly or monthly. A quote I love is “Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.”Philippians 3:13 “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead,I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

You are not your parents- Just because they did drugs, were criminals, did ________(insert whatever is applicable to your situation here) doesn’t mean this is you have to! You have a choice to make. Follow in unhealthy footsteps and generational dysfunction or walk a higher path. I chose the latter! Drug addiction ends here! Violence ends here! My children will have a good heritage!

On Forgiveness- Corrie Ten Boom, a Christian woman who survived a Nazi concentration camp during the Holocaust, said, "Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you." You will have to forgive those who hurt you to heal. This doesn't mean you pretend nothing happened, but release the anger and hateful feelings and thoughts, forgive them and move on. For some this means forgiving but never being around that person who hurt you because they will try to take advantage of that forgiveness, but releasing yourself from the hate, hurt and burden!

On Choosing wise friends. I kept falling into sin and making foolish choices, then the Lord showed me that I it was because I was hanging around FOOLS! My friends dropped out, partied did illegal and immoral things and it wasn't long until I dabbled into the same things. I learned 1 Corinthians 15:33 Do not be misled, for "bad company corrupts good character." Proverbs 13:20 “ He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm.” The secular version of this would be “birds of a feather flock together.” Chose friends that inspire you and encourage you on to great things, also try to become a friend that “ Hebrews 10:24 speaks about. ” And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

Read your bible. The Holy Bible- I couldn’t figure out why I kept falling from the commitment I made to the Lord of repenting from sin and I realized I wasn't reading His word. 2 Timothy 3:16-17, "All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." It doesn't happen by osmosis. Read and learn wisdom and discernment. I recommend most especially PROVERBS! I would have saved myself lots of heartache and gained much had I read Proverbs as a teen! Some like to read the proverb number that coincides with the same day of the month. So Proverbs 1, for the 1st day of the month read Proverbs 2 for the 2nd day of the month and so on.

It may be bad, it could be worse! It is hard to hear I know. You may feel stuck in this place and maybe you don't feel like other kids/teens. It doesn't seem fair. One thing I learned is that God never mentions ANYTHING about being "FAIR", (you won't find that ANYWHERE in Scripture) He does say however, that He is JUST! I thought I had it rough, then I read about orphans in Liberia, all over Africa, China, Mexico and places like Russia, India and many other countries. It helps me to pray for and support or sponsor these children because it reminds me that most of the world is struggling to survive. Most live on less than $2.00 a day in abject poverty. It doesn't mean that my situation doesn't matter, it just shows me that there are others who are deeply hurting too. Look for ways to bless them.

Being a Christian isn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Nor does it make you perfect. Just because you come to Christ doesn't mean life will suddenly get easy and everything you ever wanted is going to happen for you. John 16:33 “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” God uses trials to refine and make you stronger and more like Him. Surrender to it and embrace it.

Take advantage of the resources you available to you! Accept help. Many of you have access to transitional housing, free college, counseling, health insurance and an whole host of opportunities. Realize that MOST of the worlds population do not. Now make the most of it and use it to do great things with your lives. Please don't squander this opportunity. it is HARD trying to make it all on your own! Trust me!

Do not take revenge-This is helpful in many situations in life. Just thought I’d mention Romans 12:21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. Apply this verse to any situation you may have. You’ll be blessed and see much fruit.

Learn to set boundaries. There is a book called boundaries and boundaries for kids /teens that is amazing. You will need to learn to set boundaries of what is acceptable to you and what you won’t tolerate then enforce them. You’ll need this skill in all areas of life. Get the book if you can. I’ve had to learn to set boundaries with both family, friends, boyfriends, employers, coworkers, teachers, and now in parenting etc. "The purpose of having boundaries is to protect and take care of ourselves.  We need to be able to tell other people when they are acting in ways that are not acceptable to us.  A first step is starting to know that we have a right to protect and defend ourselves.  That we have not only the right, but the duty to take responsibility for how we allow others to treat us."

Family is what you make it- Your birth family might not be the greatest. That doesn't mean you have to subject yourself to people who belittle you, criticize you, squash your dreams, hurt you, discourage you, or want to see you fail. Chose people to be like family to you. I prayed for a godly mentor and got 7! We celebrate holidays and special occasions with people who love us unconditionally and want what's best for us. Recognize that you can chose family that meets your needs and that loves you for who you are! (newly added) This doesn't mean you have to totally discard your biological family either. Often times my biological family is just not capable of interacting in a healthy loving and kind way. Try not to take it personally. ( difficult I know) When this happens I lovingly enforce the boundaries I have set, and take a break from them until our relationship can be healthy and my personal space and peace of mind aren't being violated. I have my extended support systems/family type relationships that I can turn to so I am not waiting around for change or a relationship that may never happen. This frees your heart to still bless and be blessed by loving others and frees your bio family from being able to blame you for their short comings. It also models what healthy give and take relationships are all about.

Do the NEXT (right) Thing- (By Elizabeth Elliott whose husband Jim Elliott was martyred in the Amazon, based on the movie End of the Spear ) We all make mistakes, it’s part of learning and growing. When you make a mistake, learn from it, repent and move on. Don't let it drag you further into sin or cause you to give up! Stop and do the NEXT right thing!

I want to leave you with this wonderful verse
Isaiah 43: 1"Fear not, for I have redeemed you;  I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters,   I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze, For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior;

I want you girls to begin thinking about what changes you can make that will bless or better you and your future! I leave you with these words. One Life to live, twill soon be past, “Only what’s done for Christ will last. “
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Poem by C.T Studd Only One Life
“Two little lines I heard one day,Traveling along life's busy way;
Bringing conviction to my heart, And from my mind would not depart; Only one life, 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Only one life, yes only one, Soon will its fleeting hours be done; 
Then, in 'that day' my Lord to meet, And stand before His Judgement seat; Only one life,'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Only one life, the still small voice, Gently pleads for a better choice. Bidding me selfish aims to leave, And to God's holy will to cleave; Only one life, 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Only one life, a few brief years, Each with its burdens, hopes, and fears; Each with its clays I must fulfill, living for self or in His will; 
Only one life, 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

When this bright world would tempt me sore, When Satan would a victory score; When self would seek to have its way, Then help me Lord with joy to say; Only one life, 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Give me Father, a purpose deep, In joy or sorrow Thy word to keep; Faithful and true what e'er the strife, Pleasing Thee in my daily life; Only one life, 'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Oh let my love with fervor burn, And from the world now let me turn; Living for Thee, and Thee alone, Bringing Thee pleasure on Thy throne; Only one life, "twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.

Only one life, yes only one, Now let me say,"Thy will be done"; 
And when at last I'll hear the call, I know I'll say "twas worth it all"; 
Only one life,'twill soon be past, Only what's done for Christ will last.”

Sharing at the Children's Home! Things I wish someone would have told me

I was asked to speak again to the teen girls over at the Children's home. When I came to Christ years ago, I asked the Lord to use the suffering in my life for good and to help others. I didn't want my pain to have been without purpose. Even though it's only about 10-20 girls at a time, it is the Lord answering the deepest desires of my heart. I am always SO blessed and excited when I get to share what the Lord has done for me. I It sounds silly but to me it feels as though I am walking on holy ground! I know that what He has done in my life He can do for others. It is my prayer that seeds are planted, hope is restored and that lives can be redeemed and souls are brought into the kingdom in the lives of the foster youth here in the US.

I shared a bit about my upbringing. I told them how I used to be in foster care. My father was in and out of prison and on drugs. I lived with my grandparents and how my grandfather was violent and my grandmother and I fled to a domestic violence shelter. I spoke of the abuse from my father, neglect from my mother.. I mentioned things like the shoot out at a gas station when I was about 4, followed by a high speed chase on the freeway by the police and my mother being arrested on Christmas day, and how the police gave me a doll because they realized I didn't receive anything that morning.

I spoke about my stay at CASA and CSP youth shelters, and how it changed my life even though my mom was on drugs. I spoke about finding needles in our home and being kicked out when I was 17. I shared all the things I've learned along the way and what I wish people would have told me. Included in Part 2 next post) I gave them the print out of what God taught me along the way and we took turns reading it together as a group. Most of it was straight scripture!!! Some of the teens were blessed and some it was hard to tell. Unlike the other other time I spoke and the response was huge. I included The Fathers love letter. I ALWAYS bring along either this letter or the kids comic book letter. It's words have transformed my life!

One of the girls was so excited that we both lived in the same shelter. I was surprised to hear that some of the workers and counselors there would try to crush the hopes of the girls wanting to have faith in Christ with snide remarks and sarcastic comments. Some of the very people that should be helping them are some of the biggest faith killers and dream destroyers. One made a comment that "they only visit so they can get credit." Ok well, I'm not in school and I am a homeschooling SAHM of 5. I don't think any of the ladies were there to get credit! I can't figure out fir the life of me, why ANYONE like that would get a job working with children! Especially broken hurting children! It reminds me of Matthew 18:6 "but whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to stumble, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck, and to be drowned in the depth of the sea." Anyway, I think our group did good. All we can do is offer our meager efforts to the Lord like the boy with the loves and two fishes and leave the cultivating and multiplying of the fruit up to Him. I am confident that if we show up, He'll do the rest. Watch this and let it settle into your spirit. Let it transform your mind and spirit in Christ. Be blessed as you set your mind on things above and know who your daddy is and who you belong to! Love, Alida w5

Our Adoption Journey/needing a larger mode of transportation

OK,
Some of you have asked WHY we are upgrading to a 12 or larger passenger vehicle. Well.... We were going to wait to announce it, but figured we might as well share... We have now BEGUN the paperchase hustle. :-) For those of you unsure about this adoption lingo... We are prayerfully going to attempt to adopt a precious sibling set from foster care. I have poured my heart out before the Lord many times asking Him to glorify Himself through our family. We long to take up the cause of the the widow and the orphan and to reflect His light and glory into dark situations. One of the ways we hope to accomplish that is by providing a home to those in need. We can not help ALL of the over 100,000 children languishing in foster care, but we can bless a few. A Jewish Proverb says “He who saves one life, saves the world entire.”
A love the verse from Ghandi, "Be the change you want to see in the world! "

We will start the CPR certification, the foster care and fost/adopt classes shortly. We may or may not get to adopt these children but here is how it started. We met with a wonderful adoptive couple from Saddleback (which BTW has a HUGE orphan outreach movement going on!) We were invited to their home and they shared the pros and cons of each type of adoption (private, domestic, foster to adopt and international) and shared their story. We walked away encouraged and feel that for the moment fost/adopt is the way to go.

After praying to the Lord asking Him to send us the children meant for our family I felt moved to go online and typed up "waiting children." Lo and behold I found a set that seem to fit us perfectly. There are four children. The oldest being the same age as our boys, another being close to the age of our daughter and another close to Josiah's age. ( and another kiddo thrown in for good measure.:-)

I prayed about it and excitedly printed it out. I woke my husband up and told him that I found our children. He looked at me almost delirious from his comatose sleep and eyed each photo of the children nodded and went back to sleep! ;-)He was a bit surprised at how MANY of them there were (he was thinking more along the lines of one or two) be but loves the idea of a home full of children. It is so sweet to hear him speak about bringing them into our family. When I homeschool my boys I think of how the oldest would LOVE the lessons we are doing. ( I can't WAIT to help him get caught up academically! It will be so fun) When I fold my daughters clothes I think of how cute it will look on the little girl. A while back I brought these 4 baby gap African jumpers with the intent of sending one to a friend, believing in faith that God would bless us with children to fit them. ;-) Pray for us! May the Lord go before us and give us the children that He has for US. (whatever THAT looks like. I have no clue. ) Thank you for your love, support and prayers, may His will be done. Alida

History of Foster Care in the United States

History of Foster Care in the United States

Some of the earliest documentation of children being cared for in foster homes can be found in the Old Testament and in the Talmud. These references establish caring for dependent children as a duty under law. Early Christian church records also show children were boarded with "worthy widows" who were paid by collections from the congregation.

It was English Poor Law, however, that lead to development and eventual regulation of family foster care in the United States. In 1562, these laws allowed the placement of poor children into indentured service until they came of age. This practice was imported to the United States and was the beginning of placing children into homes. Even though indentured service permitted abuse and exploitation, it was a step forward from almshouses where children did not learn a trade and were exposed to horrendous surroundings and unsavory adults. Various forms of indenturing children persisted into the first decade of this century.

In 1636, less than thirty years after the founding of the Jamestown Colony, at the age of seven, BENJAMIN EATON became this nation's first foster child.

In 1853, Charles Loring Brace began the free foster home movement. A minister and director of the New York Children's Aid Society, Brace was concerned about the large number of immigrant children sleeping in the streets of New York. He devised a plan to provide them homes by advertising in the South and West for families willing to provide free homes for these children, whether for charitable reasons or whatever help these children could be to them. In many cases, these children were placed in circumstances similar to indenture. However, Brace's daring and creative action became the foundation for the foster care movement as it exists today.

As a result of the New York Children's Aid Society's placements, sectarian social agencies and state governments became involved in foster home placements. Three states led the movement. Massachusetts, prior to 1865, began paying board to families who took care of children too young to be indentured. Pennsylvania passed the first licensing law in 1885 which made it a misdemeanor to care for two or more unrelated children without a license. South Dakota began providing subsidies to the Children's Home Society after it was organized in 1893 for its public child care work.

During the early 1900's, social agencies began to supervise foster parents. Records were kept, children's individual needs were considered when placements were made, and the federal government began supporting state inspections of family foster homes. Services were provided to natural families to enable the child to return home and foster parents were now seen as part of a professional team working to find permanency for dependent children.